Top 10 Reasons I’m Getting Neck Lift Surgery For The Fat Under My Chin

Every time I look in the mirror I feel like it’s Thanksgiving because I see my neck and all I think is “turkey!”

Suffice it to say, I am quite embarrassed in my own skin, which is just one gobble away from a trip to the plastic surgeon.

In fact, I’ve made the decision already. And here are the top 10 reasons why I am getting a neck lift immediately.

10. When I exercise, I can actually feel my neck fat jumping up and down.

9. I constantly strain the cords in my neck to try to rein in my neck fat in public.

8. I actually look like I am melting. Like. Eeewwh.

7. I look so much older than I feel that it is actually physically distressing

6. Any time people speak a foreign language around me, I think that they’re making fun of my neck fat.

5. When I go out to dinner with friends, I am convinced the waitress is thinking about how disgusting I look.

4. Any time I have a face-to-face conversation with someone, I can see their eyes constantly looking at how my droopy neck fat hangs down.

3. I have developed special angles to take my Facebook selfies from, and now it feels like I’m living a lie.

2. My neck fat hangs so low that if I drop my chin, I can feel it on my chest.

1. I don’t care if it’s a normal part of aging, I’m not ready to look that old, and thanks to Dr. Man, I don’t have to.